Perspective and FOMO. Notes on being freelance in 2025

I was sitting in urgent care recently (how’s that for a hook algorithm?) and wanted to do a crossword. My wife has a Sunday times subscription and had given me her login details so I searched “times” in our conversation history. 

I didn’t find the password, instead I found a conversation we had in April 2020 while we were both living in Milan in an extremely strict lockdown where we both hadn’t left our apartment in 18 days. 

We were discussing our finances and one of us said that we were “poor”. This surprised me, of course there was a lot of uncertainty with our work, but looking back we were definitely in a comfortable position and had more than enough savings where it would be in extremely poor taste to label oneself as poor. At the time though, we were catastrophising as that must have been how we felt.  

It’s incredible what a bit of perspective and a few years distance can make. The things we worried about, the unsurmountable issues… gone. The rent got paid, work came back & we look back on that summer with even a hint of nostalgia. The sky wasn’t falling, it was a passing storm.

When FOMO steals the spotlight

Have you ever been scrolling through instagram and felt that twist in your gut – FOMO flaring up? “Everyone else is shooting except me”. You’re far from alone. FOMO is an epidemic many are happy to fan the flames of in advertising. We see someones story highlight a big commercial shoot, an old classmate winning an award, or just that dickhead constantly posting about how busy he is. Meanwhile, you’re in a dry spell, anxiously refreshing your email hoping for a shortlist. It seems like everyone is busy moving their career forward except you.

Here’s the thing: a lot of that is bullshit (thanks Zuck!). If you read the industry news every day, you’re made to feel that everyone is in production except you. But it’s all smoke and mirrors – that nagging feeling that everyone else has something going on and you don’t is not born out of reality.  You’re seeing a curated selection of successes, a highlight reel (often literally). The struggles, the projects going on hold, the endless quiet pitching – those rarely make headlines or Instagram posts, but they’re absolutely there.

A while back I reached out to a director I’m friendly with and congratulated him, I had seen weeks of instagram stories showing he was constantly shooting, what a great run I thought. The truth was it was all from two shoots completed months ago and he was recycling the content to make himself seem busier. I’ve often said in calls that “people want to work with busy people”, it’s a truth of our industry. 

I was recently speaking to another director I work with and she told me that a friend gave her a perspective silver bullet that helps soothe her when imposter syndrome creeps in: “remember 5 years ago when you didn’t even make the call sheet? Now you’re the first name on it”.

How often do we forget to acknowledge our own growth? Early in your career, you might’ve been an unpaid production assistant fetching coffee, or editing corporate videos at 2 AM wondering when you’ll get a real directing job. Now maybe you’ve directed a handful of spots or more, maybe you signed with an agent or a production company, or Jesus, just survived the mad max style competition the industry offers for a few years – that’s huge. It’s so easy to move the goalposts on ourselves.

Take a moment (yes, literally now, mid-read!) to think about something you’ve accomplished in the last year or two that the you from five years ago would be blown away by. It could be a project you’re proud of, a skill you mastered, or a relationship you built in the industry. We breeze past these wins because we’re fixated on what’s next. Personally I’m trying to be better about celebrating these milestones, big or small. It might feel cringe, but sometimes it’s good to speak to yourself about your career. “Remember when we couldn’t book those jobs? Remember when nobody knew me in (insert territory)? Look at me now!” That self-talk can pivot your mindset from lacking to gratitude pretty quickly.

If you need a little help remembering your wins, here’s something you can do: Keep a digital or physical folder of your wins – a folder of thank-you emails from production, positive feedback from clients, cool stills from projects, even screenshots of nice comments on your work. It’s your personal highlight reel of things you’re proud of. On days when the imposter syndrome or FOMO is really loud, force yourself to open that folder and spend a few minutes scrolling. It’s amazing how seeing evidence of past success (that you created) can shut up that inner critic. Research in psychology suggests that creating a personal highlight reel of your best moments and strengths makes you more resilient – when setbacks happen, you’re quicker to shrug them off and keep going.

Mindset Shifts: From Catastrophizing to Chill

Perspective is everything. When we’re in that FOMO headspace, our thinking can get distorted. So, how can we get out of our heads when anxiety start to take over?

One useful trick you can do is to think about the long game. Imagine your career 5, 10, 20 years from now – it won’t be defined by whether you booked a gig this week or not. Everybody’s timeline is different. I’ve seen directors hit it big in their 20s; while others grind it out until they breakthrough later in life. Neither path is “right.” So if you’re in a slow patch, it doesn’t mean you’re falling behind; it might just mean you’re incubating your next big leap. Whenever you catch yourself thinking “I should be doing XYZ by now,” try to reframe it to “what are the steps to get to XYZ.” That tiny change from should to could turns guilt into possibility. 

Another mindset shift: genuinely celebrate others, but don’t compare. When you see someone you know having success, train yourself to say “good for them” without adding “…bad for me.” Their win doesn’t take away anything from you. There isn’t a finite amount of success to go around. I’ve found that when I actively congratulate or feel happy for a colleague, it not only strengthens that relationship (community over competition, that was one of the great benefits of the ADA), but it makes me feel better too - I’m reminded we’re all in this mess of an industry together.

Let’s talk more about the stories we tell ourselves. Directors are storytellers by trade, and sometimes they unwittingly interpret a gap in projects as “the phone will never ring again,” or a friend’s success as “I’ll never catch up.” These are just stories, not reality. When you catch yourself in a doom narrative, stop, and reassess the script. Replace the drama with something more grounded, instead of “I’ll never work again,” try “I’m in a slow period, which is normal, but things change (and have before).” Instead of “Everyone is ahead of me,” remind yourself that everyone’s path is different. Cliché? Maybe. True? 100%. The mindset you bring to the table will colour how you experience your career. Adjusting that lens even slightly can turn panic into patience.

Action Steps to Stay Grounded and Inspired

Talking mindset is great, but I’m a big believer that we also need tangible habits to keep us from climbing up the walls. Here are a few practical tips and habits that have helped me (and the directors I work with) maintain perspective and keep that FOMO at bay:

• Build Your Personal Win Folder: As mentioned, keep a record of your wins. It could be a digital folder or a physical scrapbook (personally anything crafty massively improves my state of mind). Include anything that reminds you “I’m good at what I do, and I’ve come a long way.” When doubt creeps in, spend a few minutes with your win folder to jolt yourself into a more positive headspace. By focusing on these high points, you rewire your brain to remember what you’re capable of, instead of obsessing over what you lack. It’s like your antidote to the comparison trap. (Pro tip: If you’re feeling extra bold, ask a few close colleagues or friends what their favorite thing is about your work – their answers might surprise you and give you a boost for the reel.)

• Journal Your Achievements (and Feelings): Jotting down what you’ve achieved, even small things like “met a new potential client” or “finally edited my director’s cut of that spec ad,” can reinforce that feeling that you’re moving forward. It’s also helpful to write about the tough feelings when FOMO or anxiety hits. If you scribbled out of fear - “I feel like I’ll never get a big-budget project” just seeing it on paper can make you realize how extreme it sounds. What if you wrote a counter-argument right next to it, being your own attorney: (“Evidence suggests otherwise: I said the same about mid-budget projects last year, and then I booked one.”). Over time, it’s really reassuring to flip back through journal entries and see progress and patterns. You might notice, for example, that every winter you tend to panic about work (so next winter you’ll know to take that with a grain of salt). Your journal becomes a bit of a roadmap of how far you’ve traveled and a reality check on your anxious predictions.

• Connect Regularly with Your Colleagues: Talking with friends is incredibly useful, but our industry is quite niche and sometimes it feels like you can’t really scratch that itch. Try speaking more with industry colleagues, someone who gets it. Make it a point to regularly connect with fellow directors or creatives – grab coffee with a producer. Two things happen when you do this: 1) you’ll likely find that they share many of the same worries (so you worry less about being the “only one” feeling that way), and 2) you’ll both feel less alone. You may be surprised to learn your peers share the same fears and anxieties about their careers . I’ve had meetups where a director friend confided, “I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing,” and I gasped internally as I saw them as the epitome of having it together. These conversations are a relief and a reminder that behind those instagram posts announcing “Thrilled to direct this amazing project…” there was likely a lot of struggle and doubt. By regularly checking in with your professional friends, you build a support system. You can celebrate each other’s wins authentically and lift each other up during the lows. We rise together, as they say.

• Curate Your Media Diet (Learn to Mute): Be mindful of what you’re feeding your brain. Social media and industry news can be double-edged swords. On one hand, they’re great for staying connected and inspired; on the other, they can make you feel like shit if you’re already in a vulnerable headspace. If you find that certain people’s posts always trigger your anxiety or jealousy, it’s okay to mute or unfollow for a bit. Curate what you consume. Maybe that means limiting your scroll time each day, or choosing one day a week to go offline entirely. Maybe it means diversifying your feed with more real-talk accounts or creatives who share the ups and downs, not just the glamour. Don’t forget that when you do see others’ success stories, remember we usually aren’t seeing the full context. For every post about a victory, there were likely ten failures or boring days that didn’t get posted. Keep reminding yourself: social media is a highlights reel, not the whole movie.

• Set Your Own Definition of Success: This is a more personal exercise, but take some time to define what success truly means for you – not what the industry or your peers or the internet says. Is it making a certain amount of money? Working on projects you genuinely care about? Having work-life balance? Becoming a go-to name in a niche genre? There’s no wrong answer, but knowing your answer is liberating. When you have a clear sense of what you’re striving for, it’s easier to keep your eyes on your own path. You won’t be as easily swayed by what everyone else is doing, because you’ll recognize that a lot of that noise isn’t even relevant to your goal. For example, I have a director friend who decided that for him, success is being able to take off work to spend time with his kids whenever he wants. That’s it, It’s not about Super Bowl ads or awards. He structures his career to meet his goal, and when he sees others grinding 24/7 or chasing trophies, he thinks, “That’s great for them, but not my measure.” Defining success for yourself is like having a compass in a storm – you’re less likely to get lost if you know where you are headed.

Keep the Focus on You

Cut yourself some slack. This industry, clearly inspired by 90’s WWF hell in a cell matches, can be wild – exhilarating highs, nauseating drops, long stretches in the dark. But remember, even though it often doesn’t feel like it; you’re in control. The fact that you’re even in the game, pushing forward, creating, hustling, dreaming – that means you’re succeeding. Seriously. There are people out there who wish they had the courage to do what you’re doing.

Next time that FOMO bubbles up – maybe when you’re doom-scrolling through your competition’s festival photos or reading about some “hot new lifestyle and automotive director” – pause and think back to how far you’ve come. Maybe even revisit your win folder or journal, or call up a friend who can remind you how badass you are. Recall those wise words: “Remember when you weren’t even on the call sheet?” 

In the grand timeline of your career, this moment – however slow or crazy it feels – is just a moment. You have many more jobs to shoot, more stories to tell, and you’ll wear many hats along the way. Here’s to playing the long game, staying grounded, and celebrating our own journey. The industry isn’t passing you by; your path is just unfolding at its own pace, and it’s exactly where it needs to be. Find the tools that empower you and take control of your career.

In the end; the rent gets paid, work comes back, the storm passes and you keep growing through it all